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Sat 02 Feb 2007Variety has no right to lifeTV Review:'Variety is back!" Oh no, please, please no, it has taken me three decades to overcome the mental trauma of Sunday Night at the London Palladium or, even worse, The Good Old Days. I still wake up in a cold sweat trembling at the memory of Sunday nights in our suburban living room, Nana Nora angrily sucking on a Sweet Afton butt, while on the telly that disconcerting bloke in the top hat roared "ladies and gentlemen, for your delectation . . . your appreciation . . . " as some 16-stone soprano tottered on stage and belted out My Old Man Said Follow the Van. And whatever about the mawkish comedians and the misbegotten minstrels, I couldn't sleep for worrying about what those dour red-veined magicians were doing with their sawn-in-half glittery ladies.