Present Tense

• Women: get empowerment at knock-down prices!

  March 5, 2008 @ 8:55 am | by Shane

  A leaflet arrives in the house:

  Women Empowering Women!

  Book now to secure your place on this empowering event created by women for women. Why? Because you are worth it!

  Women Empowering Women is a unique & inspiring event, packed full of everything women want, from make-up and fashion, to relaxation techniques, and much, much more.

  Those extras presumably include a Sex and the City marathon followed by a pyjama party. This reminds me of that Onion piece which proclaims “Women now empowered by everything a woman does”. Let’s try some role reversal here:

  Men Empowering Men is a unique & inspiring event, packed full of everything men want, from porn and football, to boozing techniques, and much, much more.

  Anyway, there are also some talks at Women Empowering Women event (goal setting, an “empowered woman workshop”, RTÉ’s Health Squad presenter), so how much is it to attend this empowering event?

  The full day package including refreshments, light lunch and additional bonuses are valued at €250, but This International Women’s Day rate is €125!

  Wow, is there anything the spirit of International Women’s Day can’t achieve?

  The notice concludes:

  What better way to treat you and your friends?

  (Any female readers want to comment?)
• Comments Feed
•  | 
• Share This
27 Comments »
1.
March 5, 2008
9:56 am
I’m pretty sure, and this is serious, that “Women Empowering Women” was the name of a pyramid scheme that made the news a few years ago.
Comment by Ronan
2.
March 5, 2008
10:02 am
Ronan - It was, but I don’t know that’s connected to this.
Comment by Shane
3.
March 5, 2008
10:13 am
Question: is it only “empowered women” who are taken seriously?
Comment by 73man
4.
March 5, 2008
10:38 am
These courses are no doubt brought to women by the same people who offered courses such as “Get Confident, Stupid” and “Smoke Yourself Thin”.
Comment by markg
5.
March 5, 2008
11:12 am
So make-up and fashion are what empower women? And there was me thinking it was equality, education, reading and the like.
And the “you’re worth it” line is nauseating enough in those L’Oreal ads, never mind on a course that sounds as empowering for women as One Man and His Dog is for sheep.
Comment by Sinéad
6.
March 5, 2008
11:16 am
Har, har. You don’t have any female readers. Nerd!
*looks at self.
Damn.
Comment by copernicus
7.
March 5, 2008
11:19 am
This is obviously the Malibu Stacey approach to women empowerment. Slogans will include:
“Let’s wear make up so the boys will like us.”
“Don’t ask me, I’m just a girl?”
Comment by Brock Landers
8.
March 5, 2008
11:19 am
Feck Sinead posting while I was polishing that turd.
Comment by copernicus
9.
March 5, 2008
11:25 am
*vomit*
Comment by UnaRocks
10.
March 5, 2008
12:10 pm
They’re missing the part about Ann Summers.
Now THAT is empowerment.
Comment by Sinéad
11.
March 5, 2008
12:59 pm
That should probably read ‘women pampering women’
And LOL at Sinead’s One man and his dog - sheep reference, priceless.
Comment by red mum
12.
March 5, 2008
1:48 pm
Una, Sinead, Sinead eile and Red Mum - I’m getting the sense that you all need to be empowered a little bit more.
Comment by Shane
13.
March 5, 2008
1:49 pm
Shane, keep that up and I’ll “empower” you…
Comment by Sinéad
14.
March 5, 2008
1:51 pm
Empowerment Course For Married Men (sponsored by Wikipedia).
On this unique one-day course, we will teach you the key skills you need to become an empowered husband.
9am: How to have decision-making power of your own
Learning to accept that whatever she says goes.
10am: How to have access to information and resources for taking proper decisions
Highly theoretical insights into the elementary workings of your wife’s mind.
11am: How to have a range of options from which you can make choices
Keynote speaker Henry Ford explains his marketing technique for selling Model Ts in various colours.
12pm: How to exercise assertiveness in collective decision making
Tecniques for sneakily flicking to the football during ad breaks.
2pm: How to think positively on the ability to make change
Retired men recount the day when the last child left home, the mortgage was paid off, and the wife finally gave up trying to change them.
3pm: How to learn skills for improving one’s personal or group power.
Tips on how to remember your wife’s birthday, your wedding anniversary, and your children’s names.
4pm: How to increase one’s positive self-image and overcoming stigma
Beer reception.
*** Because she’s worth it! ***
Comment by JD
15.
March 5, 2008
1:52 pm
Sinéad - That is typical of the anti-male society we now live in, in which masculinity has been denegrated and devalued to the point where it is considered a shameful trait. When I run my Men Empowering Men event, that will all change.
Comment by Shane
16.
March 5, 2008
2:07 pm
Shane, can I come along for the footie discussions?
Comment by Sinéad
17.
March 5, 2008
2:40 pm
Sinead - It’s highly unlikely Man U fans will require any ‘empowerment’ at all … Mind you, if anyone’s up for some ‘footsie’ discussions, that’d be a whole different ballgame. As it were.
Comment by Dec B
18.
March 5, 2008
3:49 pm
I’m sorry but if this empowerment doesn’t lead to high kicking a la Purdey, Buffy or River Tam then I’m not sure what use it is at all.
Comment by Dan Sullivan
19.
March 5, 2008
3:50 pm
Shane, will your course involve you telling us to start respecting something genital while taming another thing also of a genital nature?
Comment by Dan Sullivan
20.
March 5, 2008
5:19 pm
Go Hillary! etc
*waves bra*
Comment by UnaRocks
21.
March 5, 2008
6:02 pm
Why don’t they just call it “Team Tits”?
(Actually, that was just me creating an excuse to complain about how much I hate this fad of using “Team” before everything).
Go Team Times!
Comment by Vandala
22.
March 5, 2008
6:58 pm
Dan - It will include all that and more. Or less, perhaps.
Una - Go Una!
Vandala - Go Team Vandala!
Comment by Shane
23.
March 6, 2008
1:30 am
Can I suggest a free event that might empower women (and men!) for International Women’s Day? A Feminist Walking Tour of Dublin
http://choiceireland.blogspot.com/2008/01/feminist-walking-tour-march-8th.html
I’ll be taking myself and my makeup to CreativeCamp in Kilkenny on the day so I’ll miss it but it looks like a lot of fun - I have been wondering what feminist drag is…
Comment by Suzy Byrne
24.
March 6, 2008
9:29 am
People, sorry…women are expected to fork out (only) €125 and all they get to eat is a light lunch?!
I can think of so many better things to do with my money and time.
Comment by Sharon
25.
March 6, 2008
10:23 am
“I can think of so many better things to do with my money and time.”
You bet. Like shopping.
Comment by Steve K
26.
March 6, 2008
1:48 pm
Another chapter of the Team Tits brigade:
http://www.independent.ie/business/technology/why-don8217t-we-do-digital-dinner-1308163.html
Go Team Geek Girls!
Comment by Vandala
27.
March 6, 2008
8:42 pm
Mind if i shamelessly plug here?
You’re Only Massive are playing an all ages gig in Carrick-on-Shannon, Leitrim on International Women’s Day at 2pm this Saturday. I don’t know how much it costs, but it’s being put on by stitchy press and sure ain’t 125euros.
Live life to the max!
Obey your thirst!
Buy Me Money!
It gives you wings!
Comment by Maebh C

Leave a comment

• Name (*)
  
• Mail (*) (will not be published)
  
• Website
  
• Comment
  
• Submit