What men want: Pringles, balls, a bath
On the train this morning I spotted an ad for SpoilHer.ie, which helps menfolk arrange a “unique” experience for their lady on Valentine’s Day. Providing, of course, that by “unique” they mean “spraying a room with essential oils and bunging on a whale sounds CD”. Its Bedroom Bliss package includes “kama sutra scented candles”. I don’t know what the hell they might smell like. I don’t want to even think about it.
But what about the men? Well, it turns out that they have it well covered. Should a woman want to spoil her man, for €65 (incl delivery) she can buy a “Sports Night” package. It features:
2 x 50 Great Premiership Goals DVDs
IRB Rugby World Cup 2003 Official Review DVD
4 oz Black Leather Flask in presentation box
250ml Foaming muscle soak with Vitamin E
170g Pringles Sour Cream and Onion.
Yes, it’s the ideal night for any Irishman: watching England win a World Cup while stuffing his face with Pringles and gargling on vitamin E muscle soak. What else could a man possibly want? Thanks, darling.
And we only over the Christmas…
Comment by 73man | January 9, 2008 at 11:10 amLooking at the cover of the Premiership Goals DvD it would seem that Alan Smith is sporting a Leeds jersey, which makes it at least three years out of date.
Hang on, is that Beckham in a United shirt? Zola in a Chelsea shirt? Yes it is. Valentines Day would have a new massacre if I got that heap of steaming shite as a gift. Patently no men work at spoilher.ie.
Comment by Brock Landers | January 9, 2008 at 11:15 amIt’s FOAMING muscle soak.
You don’t gargle it, you smear it on your biceps. Then you wait a few minutes for the chemical reaction which is triggered when the vitamin E combines with the ink from your tattoos.
Zing! Muscle foam.
Only then should you reach for the pringles.
Comment by Nat King Coleslaw | January 9, 2008 at 11:18 amThe “Bathroom Heaven” kit includes a “Massage bar with essential oil”.
I don’t have this oil. Why don’t I have this oil!? It’s not like it’s optional! I’m doomed.
Comment by Nat King Coleslaw | January 9, 2008 at 11:21 am73man - This is all your Christmases come at once…
Brock - They’ve just replaced the Division One Goals Video that accompanied the previous pack.
Nat - You don’t have that oil? Really? Strange.
Comment by Shane | January 9, 2008 at 1:23 pmI don’t really like Soccer.
I like rugby but I don’t like seeing England win things.
I already have a hip flask.
My muscles are adequately soaked at this point.
If my girlfriend bought this I’d assume she was cheating as clearly it wouldn’t be a present for me.
Comment by Adam | January 9, 2008 at 1:35 pm[pant pant]
I’m just back from LIDL where I picked up half a pint of KRUCIAL OILATUM.
Krucial > Essential => I’m gonna be alright.
Of course, LIDL also have the perfect present to spoil her: Der Ubermensch Roboschlong
http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/2192/6243jm4.jpg
They’ll have the rest of the robot in stock next week.
http://www.lidl.ie/ie/home.nsf/pages/c.o.20080110.p.BalanceInfraredMassager
Comment by Nat King Coleslaw | January 9, 2008 at 1:40 pmAdam - It would be “unique” to you. Unique because it would be a gift clearly not designed for you. There’s logic in there somewhere.
Nat - That should be our front page photo for tomorrow. But it won’t be.
Comment by Shane | January 9, 2008 at 8:30 pmExciting gift for men?
http://techdigest.tv/2008/01/vibraexciter_tu.html
Comment by Ivor | January 10, 2008 at 4:45 pmIvor - That is classy. Really classy. Thank you for bringing that to The Irish Times.
Comment by Shane | January 10, 2008 at 5:49 pm