Christmas spotter’s guide

- Exciting toy you bought so that you would fill your child with wonder needs to have its batteries removed, because it has started to really irritate you (Time spotted: __.__)

- While watching Willy Wonka for the 73rd time, you remember again what a complete bastard he is: __.__

- Before you’ve even unwrapped a gift, someone says, “If you don’t like it you can bring it back”: __.__

- RTÉ news presented by work experience student: __.__

- Apparently minor comment about some aspect of the Christmas dinner results in cook crying in kitchen: __.__

- Dad puts on glasses and inspects gift of a wind-up radio as if it were an ancient Mayan artifact: __.__

- Watching Eastenders Christmas special becomes uncomfortable as Slater’s exaggerated problems begin to mirror your family’s: __.__

- Movie you’ve seen eight time on Sky Movies is introduced by RTÉ woman as a “network television premiere”: __.__