This post is embargoed until Friday
The front page of this morning’s Metro carries a publicity photo for a new higher diploma in journalism that will be run by, of all people, the Irish Academy of Public Relations. Thanks for telling us how to do our jobs.
All journalists have to go through PR people on a daily basis, and some of them are decent, hard-working, almost-bullshit-free types, who know when it’s worth pitching to you and when it’s not. But there are a lot who are not. So, in response to the PR industry running courses on journalism, I’m hereby offering to run my own Lower Diploma in Public Relations.
Lectures will include:
- How To Embargo All Press Releases, Even When They Are Only For Another Bloody Brand of Slimline Yoghurt
- Bombarding A Journalist With E-Mails For Products or Events That Are Of No Actual Relevance To That Journalist
- Continuing To Send Launch Invites To An Editor or Reporter 15 Years After They Have Left The Newspaper
- How To Give The Impression That Mildly Fruit-Flavoured Water Is A Turning Point In The Evolution Of Mankind
How To Give The Impression That Mildly Fruit-Flavoured Water Is A Turning Point In The Evolution Of Mankind
haha
Comment by Twenty Major | August 14, 2007 at 2:43 pmTwenty, Laugh now because when your book comes out you will form a relationship with your PR people that is akin to that of a baby chimp that’s been adopted by a zookeeper. I say this only because that was my relationship with my publisher’s PR team. At which point, I would like to point out that they are exempt from any of my wise-ass cracks.
Comment by Shane | August 14, 2007 at 3:09 pmAm I the chimp or the zookeeper?
I’m not particularly looking forward to that part of it, I have to say.
Comment by Twenty Major | August 14, 2007 at 3:44 pmI suppose it depends on how big you grow. Don’t those chimps often grow up and rip the heads off their zookeepers? Maybe I’m stretching this analogy too far now.
Comment by Shane | August 14, 2007 at 4:00 pmSome random beheadings could be good publicity.
On another note, something odd is going on with your comments. When I clicked on I was, apparently, someone called ‘Brock Landers’ and the time before that I was ‘Ronan Fitzgerald’.
Refresh seems to sort it out but you might want to have a look. Or get the tech monkeys to have a look.
There we go, back to monkeys again.
Comment by Twenty Major | August 14, 2007 at 4:19 pmYes, we’ve spotted the comments problem and are sorting it out. I’m no techie, but I’m guessing it has something to do with the dilithium crystals.
Comment by Shane | August 14, 2007 at 4:24 pmMildy fruit-flavoured mineral water as the turning point in the evolution of mankind?
Certainly up there with the Pop Tart and Coca-Cola Share-Size TM.
Comment by John Cav | August 14, 2007 at 4:40 pmI’m guessing they’re depleted. How come the dilithium chamber never got flooded from leaving the choke out for too long? That Captain Kirk was a demon for heading for Warp 9 the minute he left orbit and had his pants back on. Unlike that nice Captain Picard who would often saunter up to a planet at Warp 3 and a bit.
Comment by Dan Sullivan | August 14, 2007 at 4:43 pmHas anyone looked at the flux capacitor? It could need recalibration.
Comment by Twenty Major | August 14, 2007 at 5:31 pmWe have fixed the problem. All it needed was a good kick.
Comment by Shane | August 14, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Comment by Green Ink | August 14, 2007 at 10:28 pmdid any of the tech monkey grumble that:
a)she cannae take it
Comment by Daragh O Brien | August 15, 2007 at 11:11 amb)ye cannae change the laws of physics
or
c)Sorry, I’ve just signed up for a higher diploma in journalism and I’m getting the hell out of this tech dungeon. Big money, and a lifetime supply of mildly fruit flavoured water, guaranteed (according to the press release).
“Can you review our laptop in your paper.”
“Can I get a test model so?”
“What?? But we sent you the press release”
Comment by Damien Mulley | August 15, 2007 at 4:26 pmDamien, I always get a laugh when they send the wrong thing to the wrong person. Although it would be even better if that wrong thing was a box of beer. And that wrong person was me.
By the way, yesterday evening after the original post a colleague showed me a “severed hand” he’d been sent to promote a performance of Cannibal: The Musical. I had to shake it so that I could indulge him in the old fake-hand trick. Except that the fake blood on the fake hand got all over my palm. And I couldn’t wash it off. So I was walking around the office scraping and rubbing at the blood on my hands for hours. I felt like Macbeth.
Comment by Shane | August 15, 2007 at 4:32 pm“Can you review our laptop in your paper.”
“Can I get a test model so?”
“What?? But we sent you the press release”
haha
I constantly try subtle product placement in my blog but none of the fuckers send me any free stuff at all.
Comment by Twenty Major | August 16, 2007 at 9:18 amTwenty, You need to stop putting anything in, bit subtly mention that you might subtly start doing it again if someone was to subtly throw you a few free things.
Comment by Shane | August 16, 2007 at 3:19 pmSo does that mean journalists will start organising their own parties celebrating the launch the new petrol pump at the Shell garage on the Long Mile Road?
Won’t that make PR a redundant indutry?
Comment by markg | August 24, 2007 at 3:37 pm